Many people have heard the phrase “love the sinner, hate the sin”, and I have even used this phrase myself back when I was a believing member of the LDS church. The problem with this idea is that it actually makes the believer think they are showing love/support to their friends/family, when in fact they are actually saying they can’t love them for who they are. This line of thinking grants the appearance of generosity without the need for the believer to sacrifice or wrestle with their convictions, and it often ends up benefiting the person saying the words more than it does the person hearing them.

If you refuse to have your photo taken with your son and his partner, or if you refuse to go to their wedding then you are not showing love or understanding. you are telling your child that you do not love who they are - because sexuality is a part of who we are. Telling your friends or family that you love them in spite of their sin is condescending and judgemental because you are treating your love and your “forgiveness” as transactional. If you believe that acting on gay is a sin and you withhold your “forgiveness” from them until they comply with your beliefs then you are not truly loving them.

If you believe that the Bible is the word of God, and love some of the teachings that it provides then it may be worth reflecting on the second greatest commandment given in the book of Matthew, which is to love your neighbour as yourself. Jesus does not instruct us to love the sinner as ourselves, and when people think this way we are trained to see those who live or think differently as sinners rather than neighbours - over time this can mean you automatically look at the sin to hate rather than appreciate and love someone for who they are.

A better question to ask yourself is if you have thought or used this phrase to condemn other perceived sins. Do you treat the “sinners” guilt of envy, gluttony, greed, lust, slothfulness or wrath in the same way? Do you shun someone because they are materialistic, or love to gossip? Or are you using this phrase as a thought-stopping exercise that justifies your intolerance or exclusion of others?

These are tough questions to answer honestly, but everyone should try and address this within themselves. Talk to the LGBTQ+ people in your life to get a better perspective on how this treatment hurts them, and see how you can make them feel loved and supported. There are so many examples in the Bible of Jesus showing love and compassion, why would He ever want you to turn your back on the people you love?

Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.

If we are just talking about what labels you prefer to use when discussing your sexuality there is nothing wrong is using whatever words you want, including saying you have same-sex attraction. However, there are some instances where the use of this term can become problematic. Historically the LDS church has not been welcoming towards the LGBTQ+ community and the term “same-sex attraction” was used as a way to avoid LGBTQ+ members having to use words like gay or lesbian. It was previously taught “the words homosexual, lesbian, and gay are adjectives to describe particular thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. We should refrain from using these words as nouns to identify particular conditions or specific persons. Our religious doctrine dictates this usage. It is wrong to use these words to denote a condition, because this implies that a person is consigned by birth to a circumstance in which he or she has no choice in respect to the critically important matter of sexual behavior”.

Thankfully this sort of language is no longer used in many of the more recent articles which discuss LGBTQ+ issues, but it can be hard for members who grew up hearing this message to admit their own feelings when it comes to sexual attraction. They can be under the assumption that sexuality and identity are not linked and that if they ignore this part of themself that things will be fine, even if they have to wait till they die to be “cured” of this affliction.

The truth is that our sexuality is part of who we are. That is not to say that who and how we are attracted to someone is static, there is a whole spectrum of ways in which people feel and express attraction, everyone feels attraction differently whether that is romantically, sexually, or not at all - and it is really common for this to fluctuate and change over time. Labels are really helpful because they can help an individual identify where they sit on this spectrum at any given time and can help them feel a sense of belonging in knowing that they are not alone in the way that they identify.

When answering some questions at a conference in 2016 David Bednar stated “there are no homosexual members of the church. We are not defined by sexual attraction. We are not defined by sexual behaviour”, and in a way he is right. We are not defined just by who/how we are attracted to others, we are made up of so much more than that. However, his assertion that there are no homosexual members of the church is ridiculous (his point really being that there are no homosexuals, just sons and daughters of God) because that would be like saying there are no members of the church who are mothers. There is no single-word label that can define who we are, there are no people who are all good or all bad and there is no person who is just their job, their sexual orientation, their gender identity, or their religious belief. Each label we have, our personality traits, belief systems, motivations, abilities, passions, job roles, and likes/dislikes all contribute to the unique identity that we have as an individual.

I would caution anyone using the term “same-sex attraction” to consider why they are using it and if this label is something they really identify with or if it is something they are using out of fear or guilt. Using other labels is not about putting yourself in a box and saying this is all you are and all you ever will be. The way you experience attraction is only a part of your identity and while it does deserve to be acknowledged and explored everyone has many other amazing qualities that makeup who they are and they deserve to be celebrated and loved for who they are.

In order to adequately address the question at hand, it is important to first establish a clear understanding of the term "bigot." A bigot is an individual who firmly clings to their beliefs or opinions, often exhibiting prejudice or hostility towards a specific group based on their membership in that group.

To answer this question without delving into personal beliefs is unfeasible, but if one holds the following convictions:

1. Considering any same-sex activity as sinful.

2. Believing that gay individuals should not be permitted to marry.

3. Believing that gay individuals should be denied the right to adopt children.

4. Holding the belief that heterosexual relationships are inherently superior to homosexual relationships.

Under these circumstances, one can indeed be classified as a bigot. If an individual views gay and transgender people as morally inferior and supports the denial of their civil rights based solely on their sexual orientation or gender identity, they undeniably fall into the category of bigotry. It is crucial to comprehend that a belief does not lose its bigoted essence just because it is intertwined within a broader "moral code," even if that code is founded on religious teachings.

Some may try to convince themselves that their belief has no impact on the lives of others, but this is rarely the case. A conviction is difficult to maintain unless it is somehow reinforced by actions.

If one speaks publicly or privately against homosexuality, they are displaying bigotry. If you believe that gay people should not enjoy the same rights and freedoms as yourself is also an indication of bigotry.

If you are troubled by this matter, it may be beneficial for you to engage in self-reflection and reconsider your beliefs and behavior. Holding the belief that gay individuals should be denied the same rights and freedoms as oneself can be seen as evidence of prejudice. It is important for you to either come to terms with this realization or take meaningful steps towards personal growth. It is worth noting that if you subscribe to the teachings of the Bible and Jesus, you should be aware that the “fruit of the spirit” consists of qualities such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and goodness (Galatian’s 5:22). Take a moment to consider the LGBTQ+ individuals in your life, have conversations with them, and listen to their feelings and experiences. Can you truthfully claim that their happiness, goodness, and love are not valid? Can you honestly assert that their actions are driven by an adversary who, according to biblical teachings, cannot produce these positive emotions? Assess whether your thoughts and actions align with these same values or if you are contributing to a hostile or discriminatory culture.